I built up a wall, not to block everybody out but to see who loves me enough to climb over it. Altho our hearts may get broken, it is only through heartache & pain dat we learn how much love we really can possess. It happens widout reason, when we expect it least. It pulls our heart to pieces, as teardrops dance & secrets feast upon e hearts of innocence.
Dere may be love found & lost and my heart broken but now, at dis moment, e hope of love to come makes me smile. Sometimes, all a person needs is a hand to hold & a heart to understand. I guess e most precious love occurs widout choice & when you least expect it. You never lose by loving coz you take a leap of no regrets, as opposed to holding back and bein haunted by an an eternity of wad-ifs.
wad lies behind us & wad lies before us are tiny matters,
I passed out in Koh Phangan. I got wheeled out in lecture & into e ambulance at sch. I got into numerous crashes wid e car. I got my heart broken, thrice. I bashed 2 guys who truly deserved it. I got a blackeye from sumone who had no right to do dat. I passed out, after my prom party. I encountered e closest thin to bein raped. I passed out again, at work dis time. On top of all of dat, I tried to kill myself too.
on e other hand,
I travelled to Koh Phangan, Bangkok, Port Dickson & Batam, completely impromptu. I was given e luxury of a car who accompanied me on wild adventures in various states of mind & was often e backdrop of sum of my most amazin memories. I went fer e Freedom Party which was THE party of 2008 as far as Im concerned. I graduated wid a Bachelor of Arts degree after commitin 3 years of full time study to it. I entered e evil corporate world. I had e craziest summer wid a manual car dat almost felt like mine. Sumone from my past made a spectacular comeback & nursed me after each heartbreak & became another best fren.. On top of all dat, my body saved me wen I needed it e most.
but
"its not bout what happened, its bout what's to come"
And so far, 2009 is surprisin me. In a good way. Mayb coz I wasnt expectin anythin to get any beta but I tink it did. And Im truly grateful fer dat. Hope urs works out as well~
My facebook is flooded by a flurry of zoukout party updates. From carpark parties to VIP sections, I caught a glimpse of everyone's fun at our only annual beach party. My fourth year in a row & ZoukOut still manages to gimme a new experience every time. Dis year felt super extended, in a good way. Mayb coz I got to e island super early. But time was stretched & utilized well. We squeezed in swimmin, soccer game, mini-raves, drinkin sessions, fireworks thru e window, power naps & e best part was probly slpin in fantastic snuggly weather. Which Im fairly certain by now Zouk does sum voodoo shit to keep rain away durin e entire course of e event coz e skies juz broke open e minute it hit 8am. Exactly same thin happened last year. I keep lookin thru e pix & smilin juz recallin e blast over e wkend. Sum ppl say ZoukOut's a bore & fer e life of me, I dun get why but I guess dey musta gotten sand up their crack. Hur.
Here's a sneak preview, as always every year.
wid e cabin crew couple
wid e childhood sweethearts
wid e bros i neva had
wid e girlies fer e nite~!
So wads left? Xmas eve, Xmas, boxin day, NYE and yes finally, sumone bring in 2009 alrdy. 2008 was a wacky year of shortlived highs & depressin lows. Can I say it has made me stronger? Ask me again next year. =p
More den a year ago, my American lecturer spoke bout a presidential candidate who had all odds against him startin from his name. His first name rhymes wid Iraq, his surname wid Osama & his middle name is shared wid a certain slained mister Saddam. Oh of course, dere's dat tiny issue of his skin colour & throw in e world's greatest recession since e Depression into e mix. Could it b possible dat America would ever vote an African-American to hold e highest office in state? I tink e answer is unanimous. Barack Hussein Obama isnt only USA's choice, he is e world's choice as well. Never has an election garnered so much attention from all sides of e globe & cut through all demographics. His msg of hope inspired change & neva hav we been in more desperate need of change den now.
Remember remember e fifth of November,
It was a memorable day in more ways den one. I got a bright red stress ball & a chunky cigar to welcome me to my new space. I dunno how I got dere but e opportunity dropped rite on my lap & things fell into place. Im still settlin down but all's good so far. Lookin back on my tumultous 2008, I could probly write a thrillin story of it all. I had e craziest year ever & it took me awhile to wind down from it. Initially I had my reservations in lettin go of e wild side, dat I would wither into oblivion & sheer boredom widout it.
But Im havin a strange sense of purpose rite now, sumthin completely foreign to me. Dat perhaps Im ready to welcome another phase in my life. I was so afraid dat life would b dull widout all e madness but I learnt things need not b so extreme. Sumwhere along e way, I stumbled onto normality. Dere's a time to slow down & embrace new challenges, new responsibilities, new goals. Coz dere's always time to let loose, unwind & play.
Its a reality check to realize I turn a quarter of a century old next year. And as my youth slowly slips thru my fingers, I knew I lived it to e fullest & wouldnt hav done anythin differently. I was constantly pushin my limits & it wasnt easy fer my family. But strangely I wonder if it had been any less chaotic, would I hav been able to see things now in clarity? Obama abused alcohol, marijuana, cocaine in e folly of youth & now he's beaten near impossible odds to b e world's most powerful man. Im not toleratin vices but mayb sum ppl need to experience things on all sides of e spectrum before evolvin to a greater good. Evrybody loves a comeback kid, juz ask Britney Spears. Hee.
Speakin of which, Cosmic Gate provided me a great release in many many ways.
can you open ur eyes BIG-BIG or not?!
rowdy crazy ppl tinkin dey're goin up Genting
She's years younger den me but she takes good care of me wen it matters. Mayb she grew up faster den I ever did, did things at a far younger age dat we are able to b on e same wavelength. Our paths crossed thru e weirdest of connections but its here to stay! I love how diversed all my party frens are. Dere are girly ones, loud ones, carefree ones & den, dere are those who are one wid e music. Hee.
My birthday is long over. It was uneventful, insignificant & passed by me rather miserably. Try as I might evry darn year to make September a favourite month of e year, it collapses on me to become a cursed month instead. E year is drawin close & I cant help but reflect on tumultous events dat took place e past 10 months.
2008 is e year I bid goodbye to sch campus life. I went back dere to pick up my certificate & transcipts e other day wid my dad. My first time dere was wid him too. I drove e manual BMW & remembered stallin on e freakin slope as I turned in. Dis time round as we drove in, I was washed in a flood of fond memories. Crazy madcap days I will neva forget. I'd say my uni life was a blast, light years beta den poly fer sure. Yes I coulda started workin after my diploma. But now lookin back on wad may hav been e best 3 years of my life, Im grateful fer bein able to afford e luxury of continuin my studies.
Is dat e best life had to offer me? Did I hav so much fun dat nothin else I do will ever live up to it? Im slowly beginnin e transition to corporate world & it worries me dat Im losin myself. I sleep early on most nights. I wear office clothes on most days. I stay home alot. Life slows down to a standstill. Is dis wad growin up is about?
